Tim Bohlke » // writings

It’s Not That Bad, Or Is It? Part II

So what do you do with disappointment on your spiritual journey? I mean real, deep disappointment? I have dealt with a lot of it during the last year and, to tell you the truth, I don’t know what to do with it.

Do you deny your disappointment, hide it behind “churchy” answers, or bury it along with some of your hopes and desires? Do you struggle, get angry, or turn cynical when things don’t work out? At times disappointment has caused me to just lose heart…to check out…

I remember when a basketball game in high school didn’t go my way. The coaching style was causing me to play more with fear than with freedom. It was clear I was being overlooked and misunderstood. I came home a mess in a mix of disappointment, anger and grief. I was disappointed that my dream I had worked so hard for was not working out like I had planned. It seemed like the end of the world at the time.

In this case, all the emotion helped. The next day, I was ticked and the disappointment that had turned to anger pushed me to talk  to the coach. It seemed important to not just let disappointment settle in and take over. I had to do something.

No doubt, if we let disappointment settle in without processing it with someone, if we do nothing but say this is the way life is, then bitterness, depression, escapism, a cynical spirit or a rebellious spirit can take hold. That’s what happened to me several years ago as I walked through some rough waters.

Truth is, as we all know, life does have a ton of disappointment and I often wonder where God is through all of it. Why does He not just intervene once and a while? Why does He often seem so quiet? I am not always sure, but I’ve got to believe that He walks through all of it with us: the highs and the lows, the disappointments and the accomplishments, the realized and the unrealized dreams…the times of being stuck and the times of movement.

Some days that’s enough. Other days I wonder.

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