It is hard for me to focus today. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to post this week. I had something in mind, but today I just can’t get by the fact that I feel frustrated and mad, SO why not write about that?
When I was little my parents gave me a “stomping mat” for Christmas. I think I must have had some issues with anger as a little guy, and so they bought me this mat, and told me as long as I was on that mat I could do whatever I wanted. I can vividly remember yelling, slamming stuffed animals against the wall… stuff like that. It was a brilliant parenting move. It taught me that anger isn’t a bad emotion, God created it after all, but I needed to find a way to control it and express it.
I know Jesus had some moments of anger. I think ransacking all that was going on in the temple that day was a pretty solid sign of righteous anger played out for everyone to see. Well today I feel like I need some time on the mat! Today I have gone from discouraged and somewhat disheartened to angry.
- I’m angry my son is going through yet another difficult journey physically. He has had four surgeries for athletic injuries over the last three years, then this last week even more tough news
- I’m angry that a kid who has tried to do things right, who had the gifts and was committed to use those gifts as a platform to impact others for God and has been an incredible influence on many others can’t seem to catch a break in this area.
- I’m angry that there may even be complications from an earlier surgery, and it all makes me question myself, and if I did the best I could have, and should have, at watching out for him through this season of life.
- I’m angry at the trash I saw along the trail as I was riding my bike this morning. It reminds me how badly we need to take care of this world God has given us. And it makes me want to do a better job of caring for this place.
- I’m angry that we have an enemy who wants to seek, steal from, kill and destroy the dreams and hopes that are in our hearts. And I wonder why the leadership journey seems so hard for so many spiritual leaders today.
- And I’m angry that ever since we started Harbor ministry, it feels like the leaders and our own families have been under assault. And I wonder why it has to be that way. This one is a post for another day.
Yes, I think I need to spend some time on the stomping mat… I guess I just did! So you know what? Part of me wants to shrink back… accept defeat… stay discouraged, settle, and take the easier road.. But the other part of me is just ticked off enough to engage this battle again. With seven RHYTHMinTWENTY and Rogue events coming up over the next few months, the battle is there to be fought.
I know it is time to turn the emotion to taking some positive steps and believing the truth. But sometimes before you can take those steps you need a little time on the mat.