Lloyd Bohlke 1927-1986
I have now lived a good share of my life without my dad. It just doesn’t seem possible that he has been gone more than 26 years. How could it have been that long? Seems like yesterday.
Seems like forever.
Crazy, but I have really have missed him these past few years. Maybe it’s because I know how much he would have loved being a part of all the moments in my kids’ lives during the last several years. Maybe it’s because I’m now in the same decade as he was when he died. Maybe it’s the continual realization that someone who had such impact on my life never knew my own kids. I have wondered what words he would have shared with them.
I do know the day he died left an emptiness that never did get filled. That loss affected me in some really important ways. With our first son being born just a few months after my dad died, I had an unyielding resolve to be as fully present in my kids’ lives as possible. I did not want to miss the “moments” and I knew more than ever that I needed to grab life and fully live it, because we are not promised tomorrow.
But losing him that young…it was rough…it still hurts. There will always be a void there I suppose.
As I think about this, it makes me take pretty seriously this role of being a dad. I know how critical it is no matter how old our kids are. It makes me want to fully enjoy the moments with them. I do think, to the best of my ability, I have done that. You really do have to grab every moment, be intentional with every opportunity, not waste time in worry or stress, or get lost in insignificant things that just do not matter.
As Father’s Day nears, I am reminded again what a powerful thing it is to be a dad. I see how the impact of my own dad still lingers after all these years. For good or bad, the deep impact a father can have ought to get all of our attention.
